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My 14 year old invited me to play SIMS with her the other night. OK, I thought, computer games are not my thing, but she loves it.
She told me we would first create our family in SIMS. Fascinating stuff, really. First you pick the age and gender, then the facial features, then things like glasses, hairstyles and clothing (although the part where you pick their style of underwear was a bit creepy).
So we are creating her sister Annie and she says "should she have glasses?" I felt she should as she wears them in real life. Meagan reminded me this was NOT real (as if I might have forgotten). Now I was confused, she told me we were creating our family in SIMS and yet they need not look like us? Who should they look like?
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Things went fine for a while, we created Jeff, myself (thinner version with a fabulous hairstyle) and several of the children. Then she told me we could not create the last four children. I asked her why, she told me SIMS considered anything more than six children irresponsible. I started laughing as I realized SIMS had probably figured out something I had not. Technology is scary.
So the game goes on with just the eight of us. Meagan then informs me that we now will have serious problems affording a house that will fit the family. I am feeling smart now as I figured THAT one out YEARS before the SIMS. Not very often do I get to feel superior to technology.
Then something happened. Meagan informed me this would not be a problem after all as she had a "code" that would give the family and endless budget. I was speechless, incredulous. Sure enough, she swiftly enters a few keystrokes, and there it is, MILLIONS of dollars in our bank account!
I demanded to know why she had never told me this before. She looked confused, at best. I had lots of questions, who do I bring this code to? Shall I bring it to Roundbank? The IRS? Who shall I bring this marvelous code to and WHY would she keep it a secret?
That girl rolled her eyes at me.
Meagan tells me we must choose and furnish a home as well as a location for the house. I liked the idea of a small plot of land just outside of town, perhaps we could do some organic gardening? Meagan allowed my selection and we began furnishing the house. Things were peaceful for a bit, but Meagan quickly became frustrated with me again. I wanted a center island in the kitchen, Meagan felt that request was unreasonable, but granted it, reminding me that this was NOT real. I know it's not real, that's why I get a nice kitchen, DUH! She became very frustrated when I told her a kitchen sink had been forgotten. I felt that a sink was rather rudimentary to a kitchen, but she disagreed. I DID get the sink, but quickly realized I had better be less brazen with my requests.
So the game goes on and we are planning the yard. She chooses a swingset, nice idea. She then informs me we will need a fence the entire perimeter of the property with a locking gate. She seems frustrated when I ask her why on earth we would do this, we live on beautiful property at the edge of town, with a large yard for her siblings to play in . I will never forget what she told me next....."if you do not secure your property the neighbors will come in". And that would be bad because............? "Because they don't just stop over, they come in whenever they want, eating all of your food, using your shower and stealing your children'. Now I thought she was pulling my leg. So she demonstrated. Sure enough, here come the neighbors, and they DID! They just wandered in any time, day or night eating our food, using our shower and taking the children, much like when your grown children stop by the house. I demanded to move to a better neighborhood. That girl rolled her eyes at me again.
I am not sure when we will play SIMS again, while I enjoyed the time with my daughter I found the parameters of the game frustrating at best. Meagan found my requests frustrating, at best.
I will however be contacting my personal banker, Pam, on Monday morning. I am sure she can help me set my new code on the checking account. She is always so helpful, and never rolls her eyes at me.
Blessings! -DeAnna
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While I have not been on Facebook in many months, I can't help but notice people habitually posting photos of me that are less than flattering. I would like to lay down a few ground rules....please only post pictures of me that meet the following criteria (note my profile photo)
1. I should look thin, therefore, utilize photos more than three years old (or) utilize photoshop, if you do not have Photoshop, find someone who does (or) do not post photo.
2. I should be dressed in a reasonably attractive outfit that does not make me appear to be expecting our 11th child. Notice that while camping, I wear anything that does not smell foul, therefore refer back to (1) where we discussed Photoshop.
3. I should not be making strange faces due to (a) eating something sour (b) talking to someone while you took my picture (c) concentrating on something. Strange faces typically are not easily remedied by Photoshop, therefore, ignore number (1) on this one.
4. I should be wearing make-up, I do not typically wear makeup while camping, which seems to be the only time anyone wants to take my picture, therefore refer back to (1) Photoshop.
5. The ideal photo of me (note profile photo) would be taken just after leaving the Juan Juan Eber (sp?) salon in Beverly Hills and posing with my friend Oscar. Notice the cute outfit (thanks mom) the cute sunglasses, the fabulous hair, and that I am wearing makeup.
I do realize it may be unfair that this is the only picture of me taken in the last five years that is acceptable to post (without Photoshop) and that it may be an unrealistic portrait of a woman with 10 kids, but aren't we all allowed our fantasies? Blessings! -DeAnna
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This morning, I got up at 4 AM. This afternoon, I decided to take a nap with my children. It was wonderful. Except the part where my four year old got up before me. I know, you are thinking he made some terrible mess. Nope. But he was kind enough to answer the door for a salesperson, since mommy was in bed, he was thoughtful enough to bring the business representative right upstairs into my bedroom. I thought that might be the strangest thing I have woken up to (a stranger in my bedroom with me and my son) a bit awkward as well.
This got me thinking, for all the times my children say I have embarrassed them, I have never been so embarrassed in my life as I have since becoming a mom. Thought it might be fun to cover some of these, and I would love to hear your red-faced stories as well. I will do my best to protect my children's identity, (or those of their friends) but for those of you who know some of my children, identification could come easily......
When one of my children was 3, we were visiting Grandma, who lived quite a ways away. She alway gave the children a juice box or soda as we left "for the road" as my daughter was given her sugary beverage by her grandmother, my daughter said "can Daddy have a beer for the road, Grandma?"
Same daughter, fast forward six years. She fell of her bike. Her wrist hurt, but not terribly, not a lot of swelling. I explained to her since it was late afternoon, we would keep an eye on it and see if she should see the Dr in the morning. She did go in the morning, and had a broken wrist. Of course, everyone wanted to know when she broke it. She politely informed them "I broke it on Wednesday, but Mom didn't take me to the doctor until Thursday."
One of my older daughters continued to hear me tell the little ones that the crab apples from the tree in the back yard would make them sick. This older daughter was babysitting her then two-year-old brother. She found he had consumed a crab apple. Apparently not realizing by "sick" I meant tummy ache, she proceeded to do what any responsible babysitter would do, she dialed 9-1-1.
My children say the way I dress embarrasses them. Apparently they have short term memory problems. One of my older sons went one entire year of preschool wearing nothing but Superman pajamas, day and night, complete with velcro-on cape.
Some of my daughters (when they were small) insisted that dance costumes left over from recitals DID count as clothing, and wore them everywhere.
One of my younger daughters used to chronically answer the door naked, this was how I met one of our neighbors for the first time when we moved in, as well as how she once greeted the pastor when he stopped by. Need I say more? Another daughter TODAY left the house in a denim skirt, petticoat and striped tights, and she is NOT five. I embarrass them? I just don't think I can compete with this!
While I could go on for days on this topic regarding my own children, there have been some fun ones lately with my children's friends as well.....
One of my favorites, one of my older daughters called from a freinds house. They were cooking and her friend had cut her hand. They wanted to know what to do. I walked them through some basic first aid and asked when the friend's parents would be home. The girls sweetly informed me they wouldn't be home for a while as they were "at the bar". (Turns out they are in a card group that MEETS at a bar.)
Last week I was watching a friend's children. As pre-teens will, they eat a lot. They did make sure I understood though, that it was due to the fact that all of the food in their house is expired. (I knew this not to be true, of course, one of my children had babysat them the night before, and they had found ONE expired food item.)
I certainly have learned over the years that children take things out of context. I do now get to giggle when my children's friends say such things, but I DO worry about what my kids say when they are at their friends houses!
Please do send me your finest "Mommy Moments" I would love to hear them!
Blessings! -DeAnna
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Today I wanted to take a more lighthearted approach to the blog...although please remember the Gleason family as well as the Shackle family. Prayers are much needed for these very hurting families. We tend to think of people in the immediate after a tragedy, but both families have a long road ahead. You don't have to know them....a card means so much.
Anyway, like I said, I thought it would be nice to take a more lighthearted approach this week, so I thought I would answer some of the more commonly asked questions about how to manage the logistics of running such a large household....
How much laundry do you do/how does it all get done?
We are blessed to have an extra capacity front loading washer and dryer. It runs early in the morning until very late at night. (today I started laundry at 2:45 AM) Typically I do nine loads a day, which would equate to about 14.5 typical loads. I do not typically put away the children's' laundry. Nor do I fold it. I have shelves above the washer and dryer, each child has a laundry basket with their name on it on the shelves, as clothing comes out of the dryer, it goes directly into each child's basket, they are responsible for emptying it. I DO wish I had implemented this with child #2 as it REALLY simplifies laundry. I do have a separate basket for the rare item in need of ironing. (although to be frank, the ironing rarely gets done) With the store opening soon, thus less time for laundry, I am considering a second washer and dryer to push laundry through faster.
How do you cook for such a large family? We buy almost everything in bulk, flour, sugar, baking soda, etc. We stock up on foods on sale each week, my motto is "never pay retail!". Almost all foods are made from scratch due to expense and nutrition, but you can find us on a busy night eating take out pizza. I also buy pans and baking sheets at the restaurant supply store (the only place I can get big enough pans, and the prices are GREAT! I also bought a kitchen-aid mixer that was actually manufactured for a small restaurant. It gets used almost daily, sometimes several times a day....this is probably the wisest purchase I have made for the kitchen.
How do you clean for such a large family? Well, if you have been to my house lately, you know that I don't...just kidding. Right now the house is so full of equipment and merchandise for the new store....it's hard to move around.
I used to have a housekeeper that took care of bathrooms and floors 3x per week. That is no longer a luxury I have. I do my best like everyone else to keep my head above water. My kids have the same struggles as yours at cleaning up their possessions, just a bigger problem with 10 children.....I DO find children to be very motivated if they are told a meal will be served when all of their toys and personal items are removed from the main floor of the house. You would be AMAZED at how quickly they can work then!
What do you drive? I am sure most of you have seen the green shuttle bus around town. Yes, that's me, and no, I don't drive it to be stylish, but have been very surprised at how cool the local school age children and teenagers think it is, LOL! It seats 15 people, and allows my 6 foot tall teenagers the space they need. It also allows us to carry home enough groceries or pack for a weekend out of town (something not possible with a 15 passenger van) When we first got the bus, I chronically had people asking me things like "where is this bus headed" or "what company do you drive for, I would like to arrange a ride to school for my children" When we lived in the metro, I actually had people try to get on the bus at stoplights. We have had fun joking about getting a toll box for the front of the bus, and making some extra cash while running errands :0)
How many bedrooms do you have? We actually have 8, which I am sure makes my home sound like a sprawling mansion. Not so, many of you know where I live (the bus gives me away) it is a modest turn of the century home built by a well to do large family at the time. While it is large to a family with two children, it can still feel crowded on any given day.
I think that covers the majority of commonly asked questions (well, at least the questions that are in good taste) I also get lots of questions about adoption, and may post those in a future blog entry. Feel free to comment with any questions you have about adoption and/or large families as well as anything YOU would find interesting as a blog entry. Believe it or not, all of this feels very typical to me!
Blessings! -DeAnna
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My husband's fire department pager went off late that night, as it often does. It struck me as odd though, that our cell phone began ringing at the same time. An odd kind of eerie. A scared kind of eerie.
Our son was on the phone. He was in an accident, the accident that was coming over the fire pager. We struggled for a moment with what to do, should Jeff go to the accident scene or directly to the hospital? We quickly decided on the hospital.
How blessed and relieved we were to have our son home a couple of hours later with some compression fractures in his spine.
It scared me that he and his friends (who were in another car at the scene were so flippant about it. Did they not realize the danger? I begged the boys to please understand the gravity of the situation. I prayed that they were only treating this in such a casual manner in an attempt to appear manly. I explained to them that if they did not take this as a wake up call, there could be disastrous results.
My husbands firefighter pager went off late this morning, as it often does. Jeff was gone much longer than usual. I sent my son to the fire department to retrieve his father's truck so that he could use it to get to work. That is when our son discovered there had been a terrible accident. One of his best Friends was driving. The passenger had died at the scene. Someone from a second car had been taken to the local hospital.
Tyler struggled for a moment with what to do, should he go to the hospital or to the accident scene?
Ironically, the driver is one of the boys I had begged to understand the gravity of the situation. I write this before any determinations of fault have been made, I told my children it doesn't matter. There are a lot of people to pray through this, people whose lives will be forever changed in one moment late this morning.
My son's friends are gathering here as I write this, I am going to go and bake cookies for them now, as I don't know what else to do for such hurting, frightened young men. Now I must beg them not to let this all be in vain. Now I pray this will impact the way this group of young men make decisions for the rest of their lives.
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My name is DeAnna, My family and I are Waseca transplants, moving here from the metro in the fall of 2006, after finding a home on the internet that accomodated our family perfectly (did I mention we had no plans to move at the time?).
Initially we were quite concerned about how a small, rural community would respond to our unconventional family. My husband of 20 years and I have 10 children, ranging from age four to twenty-one, four by birth and six by adoption. Our children are ethnically diverse as well as diverse in their abilities.
To say the least, our concerns were completely unfounded. The community has been wonderful, accepting our children for the amazing individuals they are. We can (for the first time) go out to dinner and receive only positive comments. Many people have come to know us as "that big family with the green bus.
We have met so many wonderful families in this community, to say we are happy in Waseca would be an understatement. We have found an amazing church family in Grace Lutheran Church and even our children with unique needs have been able to find activities to be involved in. You are likely to meet our children at horseback riding lessons, gymnastics, police explorers, junior firefighters, community events or submitting items to the fair.
You are likely to meet my husband in his role as a Waseca firefighter, or Waseca police reservist. He has a strong talent for fixing just about everything, my children will tell you "if Daddy can't fix it, it's not broke". That would explain the garage so full of power tools I have not parked a car in a garage for twenty years. Please bear with us if you drive by the house and the garage door is open, revealing the mess.
I am likely to be found grocery shopping, driving children to and from school and activities or scrap-booking. I have found digital scrap-booking and paper scrap-booking to be very therapeutic, as well as a wonderful way to show my children how unique and treasured they each are. My husband is highly tolerant of my hobby (addiction) but warns the children not to stand in place too long or "Mommy might use you as an embellishment".
Our current endeavor as a family is opening an upscale children's consignment shop and boutique in Waseca (Child of Mine). This is something I have wanted to do for many years, We find ourselves a bit overwhelmed at opening in just 5 weeks (Nov first) but things always seem to fall into place.
I think the one thing I would most like to convey is that our family is more like yours than you may think. We share good times and bad, do our best to raise our children in a Godly fashion, and mow the lawn on Saturdays. (OK, so you have driven by and it's not mowed as often as it should be, but we try for every Saturday.) I hope this blog comes to reiterate that while family cultures are different, and those differences should be celebrated, we have much in common with our joys, griefs, struggles and triumphs.
Blessings! -DeAnna
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